Is It Time? *Checks Watch; Taps Face to Make Sure It's Working* I Think It's Van Time

"i86hotdogs" (i86hotdogs) 07/13/2020 at 10:00 • Filed to: None

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I can’t believe my Saturday night post avalanched into something magical. Oppo (and the world) needs more vans.

Idea for a cover band: Ford Van Fleet. Sounds like Greta Van Fleet, but all we sing about are the amazing features and capabilities of Ford vans.

With hits like:

Cavernous Cargo Capacity

RallyVan

Sliding Door Blues

Death to Crossovers!

ItalianJobR53 - now with added 'MERICA and unreliability > i86hotdogs 07/13/2020 at 10:08

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Needs more breadvan

Ermahgerd! > i86hotdogs 07/13/2020 at 10:10

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And more useful than most pickups too!

i86hotdogs > ItalianJobR53 - now with added 'MERICA and unreliability 07/13/2020 at 10:12

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If you can deliver bread in it, it’s a bread van in my eyes.

For Sweden > i86hotdogs 07/13/2020 at 10:15

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When I see yet another crossover review

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > i86hotdogs 07/13/2020 at 10:16

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You forgot the hit single “FiST to flower”

And then the followup experimental album “a supervan in the hand”

ItalianJobR53 - now with added 'MERICA and unreliability > i86hotdogs 07/13/2020 at 10:16

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But that's THE breadvan...maybe they need to make a new one based on the GTC4 Lusso

Mercedes Streeter > i86hotdogs 07/13/2020 at 10:30

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Oh man, I missed van time!! I have more than once attempted (but failed) to purchase the following:

Mercedes Sprinter 3500 extended length long wheelbase high roof, low/no rust.

Ford E350 7.3 Powerstroke (also extended length high roof).

I grew up riding in vans. Dad had a first generation Caravan in brown and my mom had a thing for Windstars. She had a mid 90s Windstar in teal, a brand new 1999 red Windstar that was so base model it only had a single sliding door, and a dark blue 2003 Chrysler Voyager (!!!) that she only got because the dealership didn’t have a Windstar. Her favourite van later on was her 2003 Oldsmobile Silhouette. Gold e verything, leather everything, a banger of a sound system, and power everything! My family was so into vans that the first car my brother financed was a white Chevy Venture. lol

My favourite van from childhood and a van I’d totally own today was a blue Chevy-van 20 conversion van. It pulled the travel trailer we had like a boss, had mood lighting, captain chairs in the back, and epic shag carpeting. I always sat in the window seat (that had real wood!) with the cool radio. I’d plug in my headphones and try to find the pop station in whatever town we were in.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Mercedes Streeter 07/13/2020 at 10:39

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Wait, I assume you liked the U Body Silhouette before it fell apart. The one I knew never had a single power function actually work ever.

I’m also surprised that someone likes windstars. I never thought they were particularly pleasant to ride in. The Dodges were always more comfortable in my experience. The new Pacifica is a fantastic van btw.

In middle school there was that one guy who got dropped off in a high roof Dodge Sprinter painted the most offensive and most faded red you’ve ever seen in your life. That van got  a nickname pretty quickly. 

Mercedes Streeter > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 07/13/2020 at 11:10

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The Silhouette never really had the time to fall apart. lol Maybe a year or so into ownership my dad iced a deer with it . The van surprisingly took little damage (lost a headlight and dented the hood) but my mom couldn’t see her baby broken like that. Still hasn’t forgiven him for that either .

She started driving a 2003 2 door Blazer and made him drive the broken van. If I recall correctly, both the Blazer and Silhouette got repossessed around the time they stopped paying rent in that particular house.

I never quite figured out why she loved Windstars so much, especially since that Caravan we had was so much better than any of the Windstars by a wide margin.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Mercedes Streeter 07/13/2020 at 11:19

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Yeah, I just don’t quite get why she seemed to seek out the worst vans around and then really like them. They weren’t pretty, reliable, comfortable, or ergonomic.

The Olds Silhouette I knew was so broken the power door required about 5 minutes of  fiddling to open and close. Everything was broken, everything rattled, and everything was b r o w n. Still better than the windstars I knew.

Maxima Speed > i86hotdogs 07/13/2020 at 11:33

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Amen! First car was an Aerostar cargo, loved it for its versatility. I drive pretty much every variant of  the transit connect for work and really like them. 

i86hotdogs > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 07/13/2020 at 11:35

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SuperVan to the tune of Superman by Goldfinger

So here I am, doing everything I can

Holding on to what I can

Drifting in the SuperVan!

i86hotdogs > Mercedes Streeter 07/13/2020 at 11:43

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First van ( and overall vehicle ) experience was the family’s blue Toyota Previa. It was so odd, I thought all vehicles were mid engined. The oldest sister inherited it, and proceeded to total it. Her notoriety for bad driving is so awful, she was kicked off the family’s insurance. Our insurance card read “Drivers excluded: XXXXXX XXXXXXXX”

Next was a 2000 Pontiac Montana, similar to the Silhouette you had, but all black everything. The selling point was the power sliding doors that stopped working about a year in. Then the power vented rear windows died, then the interior lights decided to never illuminate. The factory air compressor still worked, and was such a cool thing to brag about to the friends.  

i86hotdogs > Maxima Speed 07/13/2020 at 11:52

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I would love to own an Aerostar, they are such great looking vans. Plus, they’re RWD so more sideways fun.

I truly would like to experience the defference between LWB and SWB variants of the TC cargo. I already know the LWB rips around cones, perhaps less weight and shorter wheelbase make it more turn friendly?

BahamaTodd > Ermahgerd! 07/13/2020 at 13:40

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My brother is having to replace his fullsize Transit with a HD truck because he needs more towing capacity. Would be nice if they would build a heavy duty van that could tow more.

Ermahgerd! > BahamaTodd 07/13/2020 at 14:03

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I know some Transits can be spec’d to tow 7500 lbs (the 2019 anyway) . I imagine it would be hard to engineer them for much more since they are unibody construction (unlike the better-towing E -series) . I guess if you are regularly towing more than that a pickup really is the best solution .